Instead of a day of culture and poetry and chess, I've been sitting here vegetating in front of Emmerdale [Farm] like a poor, sad peasant.

I've been seriously lacking inspiration and motivation for a short while now. Well in fairness, the motivation aspect comes from not being inspired, as when I have a good idea, I'm almost always enthusiastic about it. Whatever - I'm giving serious consideration into ending the updates of my websites.

Better dead than smeg

The main idea behind it is to go out with a bang - none of that fizzling out nonsense. I mean, everything will probably remain as it is - it just won't be updated again. Other than this blog, that is, as I'm quite keen to carry this on as a sort of diary. A legacy, if you will (as sad as it may read most of the time, and as sad as the idea itself may sound).

Nothing's concrete at the moment. I just feel that it could be the time to move on. For a start, updates are becoming a bit of a chore. But more importantly, I have achieved far more than I ever set out to, so when/where do I draw the line?

On the other hand, I don't want to abandon my sites - particularly the Red Dwarf one because of the time and effort it took to get recognised. And after four years of success, I don't want to break the chain all to realise a few months later that I should've kept it going.

Realistically, none of this actually matters. I'm just thinking that if I do finish with my sites, I can focus more on new projects. My short film, Sleep, was perfect. I made the film, I made the site and that was it - end of. I want to do more standalone things like that.

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I really lost interest at RWS towards the end, but stuck it out because I don't like to waste time - and giving up would've been a big waste of two years. Now at Racodac, I'm similarly 'bored' already. And in honesty, this may be swaying my way in thinking at the moment - wanting to do new things to compensate for the excitement that should exist but doesn't.

I'm not alone in feeling disheartened about how things are at Racodac. And knowing this is fuelling the hope that things will pick up soon.

Let's hope so, eh?